


If You Lose Me Somewhere

by a_mere_trifle



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Character Study, Ensemble Cast, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-15 21:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/532031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_mere_trifle/pseuds/a_mere_trifle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fight against Estelle takes a different turn, leaving the crew battered and broken-- but there's still a world to save, and this isn't the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Still a Reason Left

**Author's Note:**

> So this was written a few years ago, and I figure the fact that I can read it without cringing means it's good enough to post. 
> 
> I was originally going to take it all the way to endgame, but for possibly a dozen reasons, that's just never going to happen; so I'm just going to make a stopping point out of where I left off and maybe write up an epilogue. Updates should be about as frequently as I remember to update, since I don't have a whole lot of polishing to do. Title is inspired by 'Ring a Bell', though I think the pronouns were the other way around in the line.
> 
> \--
> 
> Chapter Summary: He'd kind of figured he'd be stronger at this point. He hadn't deluded himself into thinking he'd be able to get over it, but he had thought he'd be able to pretend.
> 
> \--

He'd kind of figured he'd be stronger at this point.

After all, he'd been walking through hell and back for one reason or another for months now. Killed other people. Watched other people die. Even gone through the utter insanity of being thanked for it, which could just never feel right. 

He hadn't deluded himself into thinking he'd be able to get over it, but he had thought he'd be able to pretend.

_Turns out we all make mistakes_ , Yuri thought, as the sword clattered to the ground. 

So, what to do? Couldn't go forward: she was still there. Right was a sheer drop, left was the sword. Behind him were all the others... but he had a feeling that wouldn't be too much of a problem.

He turned; half of them stepped back involuntarily. That left him a space he should be able to get through without much trouble.

"Yuri..." said Karol, and struggled for something more to say.

"Yeah," said Yuri, and started on his way back down to the palace.

"Yuri Lowell!" Rita screamed after him. "Don't you dare run off on your own again!!"

Yuri waved that off, not looking back. "What, after that worked so well last time? What would be the point?" His voice wavered on the last word; he clamped back down on it with all the force of his will. "Just-- just give me this one thing!"

They would, he hoped. He never had asked for much. Any tendency toward that he might've had once had died a long time ago, when he'd learned how rarely it was given.

He was back in the palace, now; he felt the strangest sudden urge to drop to his knees, now that no one was watching, no particular reason to keep it locked away. 

But no. There was still a reason left. 

He wound his way through stairs and corridors and stairs, until he found her room. There'd have to be something there that would work; no doubt she'd forgive him for ransacking the place a bit. She'd forgiven him for so much worse.

Crap. He was crying after all. 

But there it was: he shook as many tears from his eyes as he could and grabbed the rapier from the hook in her wardrobe it had hung on. Probably her spare, and not a great weapon-- but it'd do what he needed it to. 

"C'mon, then," he murmured. "Let's go avenge your mistress."

-


	2. Might Finally Break Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably she'd meant it to make it easier on him-- probably she hadn't seen any other choice, probably she hadn't even had one. But Raven knew it was eating at the kid: it had to be.

-

Raven was a pretty clever old man, if he did say so himself (and oh yes, he did). It was something that'd saved his life more times than he could count-- maybe a time or two too many. It'd also led him into more trouble than he could list in a lifetime.

Now it'd led him into a dilemma. 

Nobody really wanted to talk to him right now: he couldn't blame them. More of this was his fault than he could even bear to start thinking about. Rita'd already yelled at him before running off to god knew where; Karol hadn't been in a much better mood, but at least Raven knew where he was. Repede was curled into a tight ball in the doorway, and Judith was sitting across from him, probably aware of every word he was thinking.

She was smart enough, and enough like Yuri, that she knew exactly what was happening too. The fact she was still sitting here, humming to herself, showed what decision she'd made.

But was it the right one? Raven leaned back, folding his arms behind his head. Anyone with half a brain knew exactly where Yuri was. Not hiding: not a chance of that. He was at least halfway through the sewers by now, and maybe out of the city completely. 

And after that... "Ba'ul gonna give our friend a ride?" he asked the ceiling.

"I believe so. Ba'ul has grown rather fond of all of you... perhaps Yuri in particular. And besides-- that boy can be frightening, when he's angry."

Raven snorted. 'Angry'. Yeah, like the buildup of aer in the lower quarter had been kind of a bad thing. 

"They would want to go after him," Judith pointed out.

"Like they're in any shape for that right now." Raven shook his head. "No. Last time was one thing. Last time he needed us; last time we could help him. This time..."

"You don't think he needs help?"

"I don't think he'll accept it. And I don't think I wanna find out how he'd react if we offered."

Yuri was a strong kid-- but that was the thing: he was too strong. Couldn't delegate worth a damn-- no wonder he'd left the Knights: probably the brightest thing he ever did. The kid took everything on himself, and he didn't ever break-- just stored tension like a spring, locking it away. Time and monster-fighting usually stole enough of it away that there was nothing false about his laid-back exterior... but this was different.

The kidnapping. The attacks. The ice fields. God, the ice fields had been awful: he'd been absolutely sure that he was gonna watch Karol get killed, and then be eaten, and he couldn't have said which he was looking forward to less. Probably watching the kid; he'd been so damn cold at that point he was half willing to be eaten if at least it might've been warm in that thing's belly. 

Learning about the capitol: he'd seen Yuri's eyes flickering over the refugees, noting every last subtle sign of wealth with a poor man's trained eye. Kid must've had it drilled into him for ages: when anything bad happens, it's the ones without money who get the shaft. Yuri'd taken one look at those refugees and known everyone in the Lower Quarter was dead. 

Pessimistic of him, but he had reason to be. He'd turned out half right, after all. Of all the people, it'd wound up being his own damn brigade who'd been the only ones to think of actually saving the lives of people who didn't live in mansions. They were idiots-- he knew that better than anyone-- but god damn, he was so proud of them sometimes he thought his heart would finally break from it.

They'd gone into real danger, to do their real duty-- and paid a real price. The Lower Quarter had turned into a jungle, and there had been casualties: he'd heard Yuri talking about some man named Hanks, someone he must've cared about. He hadn't made it to the palace, and given the way it looked out there-- well, he had about the same chance of surviving out there as a snowball did in hell.

And Estelle.

Raven brushed his hair out of his eyes. He'd known the general lines of what Yuri'd been thinking: he knew he’d been determined to kill her, if that was the only way. But he hadn't figured on her actually having asked him. That made it one hell of a mess. 

Probably she'd meant it to make it easier on him-- probably she hadn't seen any other choice, probably she hadn't even had one. But it was eating at the kid: it had to be. He seemed pretty okay with killing people who deserved it, that much he had to admit-- but people who didn't... he wasn't a monster; that was harder on him. He'd had enough trouble with the Don, whom he'd hardly known, when he'd only had to finish the job. To kill Estelle... even if, especially if, she'd asked...

She'd looked up at Yuri, in the end, blood trickling out the corner of lips that were curved into a faint smile-- looked up into his eyes, and whispered something, and smiled, and it was driving even Raven insane.

Raven didn't really want to meet Yuri right now. He especially didn't want to annoy him.

"Flynn should arrive shortly," said Judith. "He will want to go to Zaude. Ba'ul will have returned by then; I suggest we should accompany them. Just in case."

"...Good plan," said Raven.

"I don't really think it will be necessary, though."

He frowned, and said, "You think Yuri will eliminate the threat to the world all by himself."

"But just in case..."

"...Right." Raven sighed. "Guess it's only fair to let him get the first bite at the apple. Still... it's just a shame you can't kill a guy like that twice."

"Isn't it, though?" Judith calmly agreed.

Gorgeous as that lady was, sometimes she scared him as much as the kid did.

-


	3. You Had to Know This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was so simple, and yet it had taken Flynn so long to understand. He didn't know why. Maybe he'd gotten so used to being a step ahead of Yuri that he'd stopped ever looking behind.

It wasn't that the damned puzzles and locks in this place were difficult-- ridiculously tedious, yes, but not difficult. It wasn't that the Guards here were formidable-- though they weren't quite pushovers, and moreover, Flynn could hardly be at ease with the notion of fighting his fellow soldiers, traitors or not. 

The thing was, all of these things took time, and that was the one thing he was terrified they didn't have. 

_What had scared him was how empty the city was. Empty, and scoured clean. His Lower Quarter was dirtier than this, busier than this, alive. It was rather like being at a funeral with a viewing, a corpse carefully cleaned and presented, better than it ever looked in life, despite--no, **because** \-- it was dead._

_It had been harrowing, and Flynn did his best not to look too closely. With the aer gone, his city would never be this clean or this empty again._

_Anyway, he didn't have time to think about those things. Alexei would have gone to the Palace, which meant it was pointless looking for Yuri anywhere else._

Royal Guards, again; Flynn was almost too tired to bother reasoning with them, but he had to try. If he was to live with himself, he had to try.

"Whatever your oaths, your duty never lies in protecting a traitor to the realm!" he yelled, even as they clashed swords. With those helmets, with the spells Rita was screaming, with metal and magic filling the air, maybe they couldn't even hear. Few enough acted as though they could.

But that had always been a trait of the Guards.

_The first sign of life he'd seen in the entire city had been, of all the people, Schwann's old brigade-- the exact team Yuri had driven to distraction, though he could've sworn there were three of them before._

_Of all the people to bring him such a miracle. He'd lost half their story, he was afraid, while gazing around the Mess Hall in wonder. It wasn't the whole Lower Quarter in here, but it was more than he had ever expected to see again._

_"While in the process of evacuating the city," the man was saying, "my squadron found a group of survivors in the Lower Quarter. It was our duty to rescue them, sir, and by that time, the only place that was clear was the Palace. We made sure to stay in the Guards' section--"_

_"Excellent work," Flynn had interrupted, because he really didn't want to hear him apologize for saving dozens of people because he might've trespassed in the space reserved for the nobles. Not today. Not ever again. "You are to be commended."_

_"It wasn't enough, sir," he'd said, his eyes dropping to the ground._

_"You obeyed your duty, rather than merely your orders," Flynn had said, trying not to think about all the times he had failed to do the same. Of the duties he'd been able to neglect because Yuri was always there when Flynn's orders interfered. Of how long it had taken him to even realize anything of the sort was going on. "That is a rare quality. I shall never forget it."_

"The Commandant--" one Guard started, not deaf after all. Or not yet, anyway-- after the spell Rita instantly unleashed on the poor bastard, Flynn wouldn't have taken a wager on it. None of that stopped his vicious blow to the man's helm.

"He is not the Commandant," Flynn hissed at the man, not caring that he wouldn't hear, not caring if he was even still alive. "He has dishonored that title. You will not use it to refer to him ever again."

_Flynn had known he didn't have time to spare, much as he wanted to ask everyone what had happened, how they had escaped, who had failed to. Still, this unexpected miracle-- he was unable to stop himself from lingering, just a moment, over the faces he had never thought to see again._

_"Flynn."_

_He turned; there was one of Yuri's friends-- Karol, he thought-- among the survivors, a hammer and a wooden toy in his hands. The scientist Rita was there, too, looking as grumpy as he'd ever seen her, staring at the wall, directly away from-- ah, yes, that explained it: the man known as "Raven". There was a noticeable empty space around the man, and he looked like he knew it; the only one sitting anywhere near him was Yuri's Krityan friend. Much as he hated to admit it, Flynn could understand that very well right now._

_"It's nice to see you all here," said Flynn, looking around for Yuri and Lady Estellise. "But where is--"_

_"That son of a bitch Alexei," spat Rita, not moving, like that was somehow an answer to--_

_"Estelle..." said Karol, and Flynn had felt his heart turn to ice in his chest._

_"She's... gone?" he heard himself ask, because he had to. He was acting Commandant now; Ioder had told him as much before he left. That meant he had to know. No matter how little he wanted to._

_Karol just nodded._

_"Estellise..." he whispered, but he had half an army behind him, with no one else to serve as its commander. He had to be... so many things, for them._

"Why won't they just give up already?" said Karol, looking mournfully at the fallen Guards. "This is such a waste of time!"

Flynn agreed, but couldn't say it. "Come on," he said, instead. "It can't be much further."

"That son of a bitch probably made it to the very top," Rita growled. "It would be just like him to be so inconvenient."

"He must've made it to the center, anyway," said Schwann-- no, Flynn couldn't use that name for him right now. It just got him thinking about the crime of treachery to the Empire, and its ancient price. Raven. Flynn would call him Raven, and he would not look at his neck. "Can't be all that much further."

"Not if the Guards have had time to establish themselves like this," Judith agreed.

Time. It was all about time.

_"Is Alexei dead?" he asked, his voice foreign to his own ears but strangely level for all that. Battle-shock, or something akin to it. It would wear off, but he found himself hoping it wouldn't be soon. So many things..._

_"The son of a bitch got away," said Rita, "like the cowardly little slimeball-- how did a bastard like that get to be Commandant, anyway?! Don't any of you people have any sense?! And now he's alive and--"_

_Rita broke off, burying her head in her arms; it was obvious to anyone who looked that the girl had been sobbing, and it looked like she might start again at any moment. Flynn envied her the luxury._

_"Actually..." said Judith. "It's been quite some time now. That might not be true anymore."_

_"...What might not be true anymore?" Flynn had asked, feeling not at all up to riddles._

_"He might not be alive," Judith had clarified. "It's been quite some time since Yuri left."_

_"What?!" Rita shrieked. "He said he wasn't going to leave!!"_

_"He lied," said Raven, with a faint, faint smile._

_"That little-- killing Alexei without us?! And how does he think he's gonna get past all those guards?! He'll get himself killed!!"_

_"That would be the last thing on his mind." Flynn ran a hand through his hair, fighting off the stab of all-too-familiar annoyance: no one could drive him nuts the way Yuri could. "After watching Alexei killing Estellise, and not being able to do anything about it..."_

_He looked up, as the others exchanged worried looks. "One of them is probably dead by now," he concluded. "Either way, we've got to find them. Where were they headed?"_

_"Zaude," said Judith. "Ba'ul and I can take you; that would be faster. Let's go."_

The center of the tower, and the Guards were staring in perplexity at some sort of blastia control mechanism.

"It's an elevator," said Rita Mordio, and shoved the Guards unceremoniously out of the way to work on it.

Fortunately, these particular Guards didn't seem belligerent. They seemed... confused, and Flynn couldn't believe that was a good sign.

"What has happened here?!" he demanded.

"The Commandant..." said one, and Flynn's hand tightened on his sword. "He went up there... but there was someone else."

Flynn already knew that. "What happened?"

"He... started attacking the Commandant while he was working those controls," said the Guard, "and somehow, that elevator... they were taken up to the top floor. It was a long time before it came back down, and Reynolds and I were left here to guard this panel while everyone else went up to see what happened."

"Your good luck," Flynn muttered. "How long?"

"How long? Uh-- I dunno-- sir--- an hour, and a half?" he ventured.

Flynn hissed a curse under his breath. Whatever had happened, it was surely over by now. And however it had turned out... Flynn... was terrified.

_It had been strange, riding on Ba'ul. Perhaps because it was a boat they were in, he had been expecting more motion, but it flew as smoothly as any airship he'd ever seen, for all Ba'ul looked like he was swimming through the air. There was a slight, slight up-and-down motion, but it was incredibly gentle, and Flynn thought he could rather have enjoyed the trip, had it been made under any other circumstances. Seeing the land spread out below him... he had always found that unspeakably beautiful._

_Judith was standing behind him, silent-- waiting for something, it seemed. He didn't know what. He was still in no mood for puzzles. But evidently simply noticing her presence was enough for this one._

_"No one else can tell you this," she said. "So it falls to me."_

_He gave her a short nod, waiting._

_"...Alexei was the one who killed Estelle," she said, "but her death did not come at his hand."_

_Another riddle. Damn it all. Flynn put a hand to his temple, trying to think. "That doesn't make sense," he said._

_"I mean that it was due to Alexei that she died," said Judith. "But, it was not his hand holding the sword."_

_"Not his hand--" Flynn's mouth stopped when his heart did._

_"He was controlling her," Judith said, stance tense. She didn't like telling him this, but she was probably the only one who could talk about it. "After he had finished using her power, he made her fight us. She couldn't stop him. She couldn't stop herself. So... she asked."_

_"...Asked Yuri to kill her," he finished, because he would never be able to get his mind to accept it any other way. Couldn't manage it now, in fact._

_"And he had no choice," she said. "You had to know this."_

_And he realized she was right._

" _Damn_ it," Flynn cursed, as the elevator went slowly upwards. It was probably too late anyway, but maybe-- just maybe--

Judith had been right to explain it to him. Otherwise, he wouldn't have put it together. 

It had taken him a long, long time to figure out why Yuri had murdered those two people. Why he would stain his soul in such a way-- why he would sink to such depths. By that lake... Yuri had known exactly what he had done. And he had done it anyway.

It was so simple, and yet it had taken Flynn so long to understand. He didn't know why. Maybe he'd gotten so used to being a step ahead of Yuri that he'd stopped ever looking behind. Because he knew it perfectly well; he'd explained it to Estelle himself. Yuri would do so much for other people, no matter what danger it put himself in.

And once he actually _thought_ about it, he could see it perfectly. That dark night in Dahngrest, as a murderer walked free, far away from the clutches of the law. Free to kill again-- and having never been held accountable, not for anything, nothing would stay his hand. He had all the power in the world; nothing could dissuade him now.

Except.

Flynn could see it, clearer than daylight, how the gears had turned in Yuri's mind. _Tens, hundreds of lives saved, at the cost of my life-- maybe my soul._

_If only I could get some of these damn shopkeepers to offer me such a bargain._

The elevator was taking much too goddamn long, because having made that bargain twice, Yuri would not hesitate to make it again. Wouldn't hesitate? He'd be positively _cheerful_ , if not _delighted_. He was already damned, Yuri must figure. He might as well buy as much with that price as he could.

"God _damn_ it, Yuri," Flynn hissed, as quietly as he could. Rita and Karol gave him an odd look, but Flynn didn't much care, because they had arrived at last.

The first thing he saw were ten Guards, in a ragged semicircle to his left-- none in any sort of attack stance, in a thoroughly unmilitary confusion.

The second thing he saw was the reason why.

"Oh, damn it to--" Rita cursed. "I wanted to kill the son of a bitch!"

That alerted the Guards to their presence-- but they hesitated, and Flynn could imagine why. They had failed, after all. And failed... quite dramatically.

The clothes alone marked the man on the ground as Alexei-- and that was a good thing, too, because the battle that had felled him had not been short or kind. Flynn wondered if Yuri were so far gone as to purposely draw it out-- to purposely inflict pain.

No. Yuri wasn't that sort of monster. And even if he were... he wouldn't, not while avenging Estelle. He wouldn't sully her memory like that, not ever.

Flynn's eyes were drawn to the sword that still pinned Alexei to the ground. Nothing Yuri normally used-- more like a rapier, and a fancy one-- 

"Estellise," he whispered, and couldn't help but approve of Yuri's sense of propriety. 

The Guards were looking a little less confused, and Flynn turned his attention toward them. "By order of Master Ioder, I am the Commandant of the Empire," he said, coldly. "Alexei has been denounced as a traitor and stripped of all rank. If you surrender now, you may yet hope to avoid his fate."

There was a moment more of hesitation, before the first sword dropped to clatter on the ground. Another followed-- and within seconds, they had all surrendered. No great wonder, perhaps, with their leader so thoroughly dead.

"The man who did this," said Flynn. "Where is he?"

"He was--" said one, sounding slightly shellshocked. "Young, with long dark hair--"

"I thought it was a woman--" said another.

"Never mind that: we know who did this," Flynn said, waving a hand impatiently. " _Where did he go?_ "

The first one swallowed. "When we came up here," he said. "The Commandant--"

"His actions have stripped him of that title, now and for all time," Flynn snapped.

"Yes-- sir-- Alexei, then. He was already dead when we arrived. And the other man..."

"He was smiling," said another, breaking in. "Sir-- I will never forget it. The wind was blowing like it is now and the blood was everywhere like it is now and he was-- smiling."

"We couldn't believe such a man could have killed the great-- the-- Alexei," said the first. "For a moment, we couldn't react."

"Then we told him to drop his weapon, sir," said another, sounding-- so terribly young. "And he looked at us, and he said, 'You know, I hate to disappoint you, but I think I've killed enough people today'."

"He didn't stop smiling," said another. "Not a crazy smile, sir, but the calmest smile you've ever seen in your life."

"And then he..."

"And then he _what_?!" Flynn yelled, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

"He just sort of... leaned backward, sir," said the first.

"Leaned backward?"

"Oh-- you see, sir-- when we got here--" The guard pointed behind Flynn. "He was standing over there."

Flynn turned around, staring at the sheer edge of the tower, and felt-- nothing at all, as his heart grew heavy in his chest. 

"Leaned backward," Flynn finished, because he didn't have a choice. "Over the edge."

Flynn heard some of Yuri's friends gasp, heard his Guards muttering behind him, heard one of the traitor Guards say something with a questioning note in his voice. But at that moment, there was only one thought in his mind, strong enough to drown out everything else in the world.

_I failed you. I failed you all._

-


	4. An Interest in My Affairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His lungs were half-filled with water, every muscle in his body ached, and Duke was waiting for him on the rocky shore, as thoroughly unruffled as ever. None of this really came as a surprise, but that didn't exactly help.

(~)

His lungs were half-filled with water, every muscle in his body ached, and Duke was waiting for him on the rocky shore, as thoroughly unruffled as ever. None of this really came as a surprise, but that didn't exactly help.

"Is it done?" Duke asked.

"Y'know..." Yuri panted. "I've been swimming... a _really_ long way. You could... _give_ me a minute."

"It is the fate of the world at stake," Duke pointed out, but pushed no further.

Yuri took a few more deep breaths, pushing himself to sit upright. "Here's your sword," he said, after a few minutes.

Solemnly, Duke took the hilt Yuri leaned toward him, inspecting Dein Nomos minutely, as if it might have come to some harm. Yuri felt vaguely insulted, but he had to admit he wasn't exactly the most reputable man in the world at this moment.

Finally, Duke nodded, lowering Dein Nomos. "And Alexei?"

"Absolutely dead," said Yuri.

"And Zaude? Is it still functional?"

"Uh... Hell if I know, I don't think we broke anything. What is it supposed to be doing, anyway?"

"Holding back the Adephagos," Duke answered.

"Oh. So, pretty important then."

"Yes," said Duke.

Yuri folded his arms around his knees, shivering in his wet clothes. Something was vaguely off about this situation, but he was too exhausted, in every way possible, to put his finger on what it was.

Then, after a few moments, it came to him. Duke was still standing there, staring at him. A good minute after Yuri had told him what he needed to know.

Now that was unexpected.

Yuri raised his head, turning to meet Duke's eyes. The man seemed to be hesitating over something, so Yuri decided to prompt him. "What?"

"Why would you swim from Zaude?" Duke asked.

Yuri blinked. "It's not like you to take such an interest in my affairs," he said, before he could think better of it.

"...The affairs of humans only interest me when they threaten the welfare of the planet," Duke said.

"And my swimming here from Zaude threatens the welfare of the planet? --No, no," Yuri said, holding up a hand before Duke could answer. "That's not fair. Sorry. It's just been..."

"...You could not save her," said Duke.

Yuri sucked in a deep breath. "No," he said.

"...She was kind," said Duke. "I am sorry."

"Yeah," said Yuri, and turned away, sinking his head back onto his knees.

A sudden weight dropping onto his shoulders jerked Yuri out of his stupor. He looked up, to find Duke still standing there, staring down at him with the oddest look in his eyes. 

Duke had dropped his _coat_ on his shoulders, Yuri realized, and wondered if he'd fallen asleep at some point without noticing it. This made a lot more sense as a hallucination.

"You should rest," said Duke. "You'll catch cold."

Yuri stared at him, now sure he was asleep. Though why he would be dreaming this, he had no clue.

"Come," said Duke.

All Yuri could do was stare at him. After a few moments, Duke sighed, knelt down, and picked Yuri up. 

Yuri knew he should probably protest, but he wasn't entirely sure he could move, and anyway, male dignity and pride was really the least important thing he could think of at the moment. 

"The port is close," said Duke. "It would be foolish to argue: if you stay out here, you will simply become ill if you somehow manage not to be eaten; and at any rate, you are hardly in a position to argue."

Yuri had an answer for that. And he was going to say it.

But first, as it turned out, he was going to fall asleep.

(~)


	5. Why Are You Still Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He still wasn't sure how much of it had been a dream and how much real. Probably not as much as he'd like. But if what had happened to Estelle... If that had to be real, then hopefully what happened with Alexei had been, too.

(~)

It took Yuri a little while before he trusted that the play of the morning light on the ceiling wasn't just another dream. He'd been dreaming for a long time-- for half of it, he'd been half-convinced he was awake. Awake and questing, like it hadn't happened-- no, like it could be reversed, if he could just find the way. And hearing....

He still wasn't sure how much of it had been a dream and how much real. Probably not as much as he'd like. But if what had happened to Estelle... If that had to be real, then hopefully what happened with Alexei had been, too. 

His nose was feeling runny, his breathing labored, and he could hear the distant crashes of waves on the shore-- one of the harbor cities, then. That meant he could feel pretty safe about what had happened to Alexei. But that stuff about Duke... Had that happened, or not?

"You are awake," came a deep voice from across the room, and Yuri was forced to conclude that, unbelievably, it had.

"Yep," he answered, and sat up. He was pretty stiff-- no surprise there-- and he could feel the dregs of a cold tugging at him, which also wasn't much of a shock. "How long was I out?"

"Two days," answered Duke.

"I did kill Alexei, didn't I?" Yuri rubbed at his head, which was still aching a little.

"Oh, yes," said Duke. "Quite thoroughly. I checked."

"Well. That's something." Yuri looked down, then met Duke's eyes, which were as inscrutable as ever. "You brought me here, didn't you?"

"Yes," Duke answered.

"Huh. Thanks." He tilted his head; Duke still didn't say anything, still didn't leave. "But... Why?"

"...Of all the people I have seen..." Duke looked away, sounding vaguely discontent. "You were the only ones... who even attempted to contact the Entelexia. Who even entertained the thought that they might be more than monsters. And you..."

"...We?" Yuri prompted.

"...You gave up many things, for the sake of this world," said Duke, looking back his way. "And... I, too, lost a dear friend to the machinations of the Empire."

"It wasn't the Empire, this time," said Yuri. "It was one stupid asshole who decided he wanted everything in the world, and didn't have the slightest clue how to get it. I'm not gonna defend the Empire, but this is one crime you can't lay at their door."

"Perhaps," Duke allowed. "But still..."

Yuri sighed; he probably wasn't going to get any more of an explanation than that, and maybe he didn't really need one. Maybe Duke was just starting to like him, a little. "So why're you still here? Don't you have something better to... what _do_ you spend all your time doing, anyway?"

"I monitor the flow of aer in this world," said Duke. "As well as the flow of politics, though that is far more difficult to repair."

"Huh." 

"Why do you ask?" said Duke, and Yuri looked up, wondering if he'd ever heard Duke actually ask him a question before. Maybe, once or twice... but they were usually implicit, and the few he had voiced had been rather... utilitarian, or else rhetorical.

"Well, I'm currently at loose ends myself..." he answered, stretching casually. The past few days hadn't been much kinder to his muscles than they had been to his mind.

"Why should that be?"

"I'm... not really inclined to go back to the guild, just yet."

"...They are angry with you," said Duke.

"Well, yeah, probably..."

"I suppose that is natural." He didn't look like he believed it, though; his eyes were narrowed, and really, he looked almost--

"No, no, not because of-- because I said I wouldn't run off," Yuri quickly explained. "They don't like it when I run off on my own, and this time I promised I wouldn't, see? So they're not gonna be real happy with me for abandoning them without saying anything like I did."

"Ah." Duke relaxed, almost imperceptibly, and Yuri rubbed at his aching head again as he realized his conclusion had been right: Duke had _gotten angry on his behalf_. This was getting really weird. Was he really that pathetic right now? "But why would you leave them behind?"

"God, you are talkative today. Whatever happened to all the stoic silence I got whenever I tried to actually ask you something?"

"..."

"Oh, there it is." Yuri closed his eyes with a sigh, because he hadn't really missed it after all. "Because..." he said, trying to figure out how to phrase something he'd never really wanted to put into words. "...Dealing with Alexei was my right, and my responsibility. I wasn't going to make them go out and try it so soon, because they needed time to think and they'd slow me down. And because even if _they_ don't need any more time to think about what happened, which I seriously doubt, _I_ sure as hell do. Okay?"

Duke just nodded.

"So I figure I'll just-- wander around, try not to get noticed," Yuri concluded. "For a while."

"I see." Duke just sat there, perfectly still, and Yuri wondered how the hell he could figure this man out. If he were anyone else, staying here like this... Well, that would just mean that he wanted to stay, and why should he be so different from everyone else? That meant the only real question was what Yuri would do about that. 

Duke already knew, about everything. Duke wouldn't care. Might even understand. 

"Maybe I'll follow you a while," said Yuri. "You seem to get around. How 'bout it?"

Duke blinked, like the prospect actually came as a complete surprise, and Yuri added another benefit to his new plan: figuring out this crazy bastard would be the best distraction he could ever hope for. Other than trying to understand Zagi or something. Some things shouldn't be attempted by mortal men.

"...If you wish," he said.

That, Yuri figured, was as good an answer as he could possibly hope for.

(~)


	6. Weapons of Your Own

(~)

To be honest-- and he did try to be-- Duke really had very little idea what he was doing.

Yuri didn't make much of a bother of himself, not day-to-day; he probably never had. That wasn't how you made it out of the Lower Quarter alive. You were never a bother to anyone who could hurt you or to anyone who could protect you. To enemies, or to someone who had something you needed, well... those people, you would 'bother' incessantly. So Yuri had adapted perfectly to him, comfortable with his silences, never afraid to speak himself, always with that easy amusement of his, that way he had of simply shrugging off all but the direst problems. Just as he had always been.

But it was probably the ways in which he had changed that explained the most. 

Even before… Duke watched Yuri chat up a shopkeeper, perusing the man's store of weapons. He passed over two blades with a short word of dismissal before pausing over another, turning a smile of honest admiration on its seller. Yuri wasn't really much of a 'charmer', as they would say-- he just knew how to... slot himself in. To make himself seamless, unobjectionable, indispensable. And yet he remained unafraid to speak his mind, to start a confrontation of any sort, when he felt like it. Or, when it was needed. He had turned a princess into a wanderer, a child into a leader, rogues into warriors.

Such a person, Duke suspected, would have managed to ingratiate himself even to such a distant soul as Duke, had he put his mind to it.

But he'd never tried before-- and he wasn’t trying now, either, not truly. To be honest... Duke had actually wanted his company. How Yuri had known that, he wasn't sure-- perhaps Yuri had strange powers, or perhaps Duke was simply more transparent than he liked to believe.

Which left the question of why a man who had always craved solitude, who had renounced the entirety of his species, should suddenly desire company.

He wasn't entirely sure of the answer to that himself. When he tried to puzzle it out, all he could think was that something about Yuri seemed... terribly _familiar_ to him, all of a sudden. There weren't many people who had been betrayed quite so profoundly as that, he thought, not even by the Empire, which made such a career of it. There weren't many people who had paid such a dear price. Who were even capable of doing what was necessary, no matter the cost. 

There was something in Yuri that Duke recognized, on a level deeper than he wanted to acknowledge. Different as they seemed, different as they were...in a way, Duke felt, they were exactly the same. 

And it had been such a long time since Duke had allowed himself to have a friend.

Well. Perhaps he never _had_ quite had "friends" in the way most people seemed to. Even now... 

There was a trick to understanding Yuri. He had such long practice with his masks; they almost never came down. And that wasn't such a bad thing-- a delusion as silly as it was popular, that one could put on a mask without becoming it. Yuri never hid his true self. His true feelings, however... that was a different matter. 

Every so often, if Yuri thought no one was looking, that mask would slip, just a little. And there would be such a sad look in his eyes. Occasionally rage, occasionally bitterness, but for the most part, it was plain, uncomplicated sadness that shadowed his face.

He was a little more brittle, at the moment, Duke sensed. He knew very well the sort of guilt that could haunt you, when everything went wrong. It was hardly surprising that Yuri had elected to stay away from his friends, when Duke had shut himself away from nearly the entire world. 

And even less surprising, perhaps, that Yuri would gravitate toward someone who would ask no questions of him... from someone who would already understand.

But it wouldn't take long, Duke thought. Yuri was... so very different from him, and his friends as well. Sooner or later, he would find them, or they would find him, and they'd settle things between themselves, in one way or another. 

And then they would all leave, and everything would go back to normal. 

"Hey..." said Yuri. "Could I borrow your sword again?"

Duke blinked at him. "What for?"

"Just a thing. Probably won't even work, but it won't take long to find out." Yuri shrugged, a little too easily, a casual smile on his face. "I'll get it back to you."

Duke regarded him with suspicion. "You have weapons of your own. What could you possibly need Dein Nomos in particular to do?"

"Nothing really important." Yuri shrugged again. "There's this aer krene, up in the ice fields. I was gonna go up there, that's all."

_Does anyone fall for this?_ Duke wanted to ask. He was obviously hiding something, but Duke couldn't fathom what. "I have no pressing business. Perhaps I will accompany you."

"...Sure, if you want," said Yuri. "You'll let me borrow it then?"

"...Yes."

"Okay, then. I'm ready to skip town any time."

For a person of so mundane a background, Duke thought, Yuri Lowell was excessively mysterious.

(~)


	7. Granted Me New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duke passed him Dein Nomos, still watching. What he'd think of this, Yuri didn't know, but he couldn't afford to think ahead that far. Instead, he took a deep breath, leveling the sword at the sickly-glowing crystals in front of him.

(-)

At some point, when he faced people more inquisitive than Duke, Yuri knew he was going to be faced with a lot of questions.

He could hear Flynn's voice now: _You jumped... off a tower... into the ocean. Could you please explain to me exactly WHY you thought for a SECOND that could be a good idea?!_

The true answer was, _I didn't_. So obviously he was gonna have to come up with a pretty good lie.

The next question was, of course, _Having done that, for whatever quite frankly bullshit reason you're spouting at me now, how the hell did you survive?_

That one would be less tricky, since the true answer was exactly the same as the sensible one: _I have no god damn clue._

At some point, hopefully rhetorically, would come the question, _What the hell were you trying to do, kill yourself?_

To which the true answer was... _Not really. I just had other priorities at the time._

_Other than surviving?_

_You know what, yes. And don't you look at me like that, don't you try to tell me I should put living over everything else when I know damn well there are things you'd die for, too. There ARE, Flynn, and just because I dropped out of your goddamn precious Royal Guard doesn't mean I'm not allowed to care about anything bigger than myself! That is MY decision, and no one else's! So get over it!_

...He was probably gonna have to think up a lie for that one, too. 

The trouble was, if this worked, it was only going to get worse. 

Duke didn't seem troubled by the cold, but Duke didn't seem troubled by anything. He almost missed having the old man here, complaining... Rita yelling at him to be a man already and get his butt moving because this was really all his fault... Karol imploring them to shut up and keep moving because it really was kind of cold-- not that he minded, he was doing great, but they were in a hurry... Judy, always watching with a smile, stepping in with a deft barb whenever an opportunity presented itself... And Repede, who'd stayed faithfully by his side for so long.

They would have his hide for deserting them, and he'd be the first to admit he deserved it. But after everything... it just wasn't easy to face them. Whatever reasons you had, whatever excuses or justifications or mandates, blood on your hands wouldn't wash away, not ever. That was something he'd always known, something he'd made his peace with. But the others...

Well, that was something he could muddle through later. Now, they'd finally made their way to the aer krene of Zoephir.

Duke said nothing-- just looked at him, perfectly patient. Waiting, no doubt. 

Yuri stared at the eerie yellow-green crystals that marked the place, letting his thoughts settle into place. "Nearly got killed here the other week," he offered, absentmindedly.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah... giant monster under the ice, you know the drill. Froze us all solid, except Karol." Yuri dug around in his pack for a moment, placed the carefully-wrapped package on the ground. "Kid actually held his own. It was pretty incredible."

Duke made no reply, but Yuri didn't mind. The sea was all around them here... and he really didn't know how he'd survived that fall, knew he probably shouldn't have, hadn't especially intended to. He just remembered the water, all around him, nowhere near as cold as he'd thought it would be, as it probably should have been.

"May I?" he said, and held out his hand.

Duke passed him Dein Nomos, still watching. What he'd think of this, Yuri didn't know, but he couldn't afford to think ahead that far. Instead, he took a deep breath, leveling the sword at the sickly-glowing crystals in front of him. 

Rita had tried before to explain to them all what exactly aer was, but they had been impatient and untutored, and she had been abstract and even more impatient, so it hadn't really gone anywhere. But she'd said something about aer being everywhere-- about aer and its concentrated from, mana, being part of life. Being life itself, really, when you got down to it. 

Now, he understood. Now, he could feel it all around him, smooth and drifting like the ocean, and just as liable to pull you under. Life and magic and energy, it was all just different names for the same thing-- and none of it ever really died.

_It won't be hard_ , she said, so far away he almost couldn't hear her. _I can deal with the formula... you just direct the aer. It won't be hard at all._

Like Yuri cared if it were difficult. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the sword, feeling more clearly than ever before the way it channeled the energy that drifted around it. From there, it was just a matter of pushing it in the right direction, of matching its pattern to the one that was already there. Easier than anything he'd done in months. 

It didn't take very long, either, which was kind of surprising when he thought about it. Yuri blamed it on the power of Dein Nomos, as the power he was gathering grew, and grew, and--

\--severed the connection between them in a flash of light, leaving him to collapse backward onto the snow, breathing heavily. "Are you--" Duke began, but stopped, as he saw what Yuri's eyes were fixed on.

Even though she looked solid, even though her graceful robes seemed to drift on the wind, Yuri knew better-- and he'd be willing to bet that Duke could sense it too. Not to mention, there was the whole floating several inches above the ground thing, and the blue skin, along with the long, elegantly curved tails of blue hair, were pretty damn good clues.

"...What did you do?" Duke inquired, in a calm, purely inquisitive voice that Yuri suspected was his equivalent of the more familiar "Yuri Lowell, what the ever-loving HELL?!"

"I am..." said the creature that wasn't a woman, even if it resembled one, and a beautiful one at that.

The voice was distant, almost garbled, but Yuri could hear Duke's sharp intake of breath. "This cannot be," he said. "Belius?"

"Duke...? Yes, it is I, Belius... or rather..." said the spirit, its voice getting clearer with every word. "I was once Belius-- but no more."

"...Was that an _apatheia_?" Duke said, turning back to Yuri. "Were you-- _experimenting_ \--"

"All the waters of the world..." said the spirit, with the voice of someone focused on something else entirely, something unseen. "I feel them, at my command. I am the ruler of the waters."

That had to be weird. Yuri could sympathize, a bit. He could still remember falling, drifting upward, nearly lost in the roar of the ocean, before one voice rose above all the others, calling his name.

_All the barriers are thinning,_ she had told him. _A lot of things are going to change before it even gets a little 'normal' again..._

"Humans..." said the Spirit, its attention drifting back toward them again. "What manner of creature am I? As certain as I am that I can no longer claim the name I had before... you have granted me new life."

"...You _really_ might have mentioned something about this," said Duke, sounding faintly rattled. Which, Yuri thought, with a shiver of remorse, probably meant that Yuri had just shaken the very foundations of his world. He felt vaguely guilty about that, but with everything that was at stake...

"I will need a new name," said the creature. 

"The spirit that rules the waters..." said Yuri, standing back up with only a little difficulty. "How about Undine?"

"Undine..." The spirit tested the name, closing its eyes. "Yes. Henceforth I shall be known as the spirit Undine."

"Created from the apatheia of Belius..." said Duke. "How can this be?"

"The aer which you have gathered for me... it has tied me to the power of the waters," she answered. "The shadow of the will which created the apatheia was merged with the power of the water... and so came to embody it. I must give you my thanks."

"Your thanks?" said Duke. "But such a creature has never existed before... can this truly be right?"

"Oh, yes," said Undine. "I can feel it now... the imbalance of aer in this world. But you will need all the power of this world, and my dominion is only over the waters."

"Imbalance..." said Duke.

"It's gotten worse," said Yuri. "Hadn't you noticed?"

"Duke..." said Undine. "From my memories of my prior existence... I remember how you always were tied to the natural way of things. Do not forget that it is the way of things to change, to grow. And do not forget that humans, troublesome though they might be, are a part of this planet's life as well. Erasing them would not erase their sins, and it would be as great a mistake as any they have committed."

From the troubled look in Duke's eyes, the thought of "erasing" humanity was apparently one that had crossed his mind. Yuri kind of wished he didn't know that. 

"Fear not," said Undine. "This is not unnatural, no desecration. I am alive again, and I can fulfill the purpose that I was born for at last. You may call upon my powers at any time. Good luck..."

With that, Undine disappeared-- but Yuri could still feel her, if he tried. He could feel all sorts of things about the aer around him now, and what made it really almost unbearably weird was to realize that, to a much, much lesser degree, he always had. 

He'd have to explain it, some day. He wouldn't be able to get around it. 

But from the way Duke was staring silently at the place where Undine had been, at least it wasn't likely to be today.

(~)


	8. Always a Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Judith nodded, still way too damn calm: she'd handled this all too well and Rita hated her for it. For remaining untroubled, or at least managing to look that way-- Rita was so far from that right now that she thought she might never fight her way back.

(~)

There was nothing Rita could do, and she hated that feeling more than anything in the world. 

Estelle was gone, and she couldn't fix that. Alexei was gone, so she couldn't punish him. Yuri was missing, gods alone knew where, so she couldn't kick _his_ ass for running off, stealing her revenge, and running off again like that. There was nothing to fix, all her plans kept circling around the same dead ends in her mind, and when she tried to sleep, she... saw things.

She hadn't been helpless for a long, long time, and she hadn't missed the feeling at all. 

"Still awake?" came a voice from behind her, and it was a measure of just how hellish the last few weeks had been that Rita nearly screamed out loud. But it was Judith, of course it was Judith, still a crazy dragon freak, even if that wasn't quite as much of a bad thing as she'd once thought. 

"God! You scared the hell out of me!" she answered, holding a hand to her chest. "What the hell kind of question is that, anyway?! If I'm asleep, what am I doing all the way out here?!"

"You could be sleepwalking," Judith pointed out. "It's not exactly out of the question."

Rita just glared at her-- then sighed, letting it go. "And what are you doing up?"

"I'm always up, at night," Judith answered. "I don't need as much sleep as you do. And I find that when I'm troubled, taking a little stroll in the moonlight sometimes helps. Is that what you're doing?"

"No," Rita answered, curt. "I can't sleep. I can't do anything. So I'm pacing around outside the inn until I can."

Judith shrugged. "Same thing, really," she said, leaning against the railing.

After a moment, Rita followed suit, mind hazy from weeks of bad sleep and nightmares. "You know there's only two reasons," she said.

"Hmm?"

"Why Repede couldn't track him down. Either he won't, out of some sort of loyalty, or he can't... because there's nothing to track."

"Well, water does interfere with such things," Judith pointed out. "And Repede isn't exactly your typical dog."

"Yeah. But that's a really tall tower. And if you work out the numbers... but numbers never did work right around Yuri."

Rita scrubbed at her eyes: god, she really _must_ be exhausted, letting something like that slip out. That kind of theory wasn't anywhere near scientific. She'd never intended to admit to it, not out loud, barely even to herself... but... that didn't mean it wasn't true, even if she couldn't explain why yet. There was always a why. Even for a stupid thing like a "curse". 

"Can't believe the dumbass did that," she muttered.

"You'll have to be more specific, really," Judith said, sounding quite amused.

"Which dumbass, or did what? Yeah, that is a good question." Rita raised her head, blinking blearily at the full moon, bright enough tonight to sting her eyes. "All of it, really. Alexei's notes... what a moron. I don't even know how you get that stupid. He reads all those explanations of how to get Zaude up and running and ignores all the very detailed warnings that you shouldn't do it. It wasn't even obscure, they explained exactly why. But he was all, _no_ , if they wanted something kept away so badly it's _got_ to be something that could take over the world! _There's no other possible explanation for that_! I don't know how people get so stupid, I don't understand how it's even possible. I can't _imagine_ thinking like that."

"Maybe he needed the promise of some supreme power to give him the courage to do what he did," said Judith. "Maybe he needed a way to convince himself that there was no way he wouldn't succeed. So whenever he saw something that didn't fit with his plans, he ignored it... or he gave it just a little twist."

"But why would you ever _want_ the Empire? You'd have to deal with all those _people_! And all those stupid nobles, and the paperwork and the defense..."

"And the scientific budget," Judith pointed out. "Is it easier to understand wanting supreme power over that?"

"Well... a little." Rita ran a hand through her hair. "But really I meant Yuri."

"I thought so, yes." Judith nodded, still way too damn calm: she'd handled this all too well and Rita hated her for it. For remaining untroubled, or at least managing to look that way-- Rita was so far from that right now that she thought she might never fight her way back.

"He said he'd stay at the castle," Rita complained. "But no, he's got to run off and play the hero and--"

"Do you really think that's what he was doing?"

"Yes! He would've been safer going with us! And he just wanted to go alone because..."

"He killed her," Judith supplied.

_And you're taking his place_ , Rita very nearly said, turning away from the moon with a sneer. They always had been far too alike. Rita had almost wondered whether they were brother and sister somehow, it was that uncanny. And now, here she was, giving advice like Yuri. Making too much goddamn sense like Yuri, calm and brutal and strangely wise for all of that. 

"So why don't you explain it to me?" she said. "Tell me why he did it. You should know, if anyone can figure it out."

"For the same reason you wanted to," Judith answered. "You know exactly why he went to kill Alexei: you would've done the same yourself, if he hadn't beaten you to it, if you'd had more time to think about it beforehand like he did. If you'd had to kill her yourself. You know exactly why he did it, or you wouldn't be so angry at him for taking away the chance."

Well... yeah, that was true. She could hardly blame him for that. "But _jumping off of Zaude_ and wandering off somewhere."

"You ought to know that too," Judith reproved, mildly. "The same images that keep you up at night. What do you think they're doing to him, who was so much closer to them, who caused them, even if he didn't have a choice? He's feeling guilty, it's as simple as that. And you know how Yuri hides things from us. He wouldn't want to show us that guilt, not when we're so troubled ourselves, not when he couldn't control it."

"...So he jumped off a tower?"

"...Probably he wasn't thinking clearly at the time," Judith allowed, with a small smile.

Rita let out a bark of laughter, turning back to the railing. "Yeah, I can understand that one," she said, leaning her head against her hands.

She closed her eyes; she was still miserable, but almost calm about that, now. "I hate feeling this way," she said. "I've worked as long as I can remember not to feel this way again. But you can't avoid it, can you? Even if you're a genius, even if you have power, even if you have everything under control... there'll always be _something_ you aren't in control of, and that's enough to ruin everything."

She took a deep breath, lifting her head a little, toward the light. "When my parents died... I couldn't do anything. I was a little kid, I thought if I got bigger, if I got smarter... if I were the best, I would never be helpless again."

"And now..." said Judy, almost too quietly to be heard.

"I thought I didn't make friends because they weren't smart enough to understand me, because they'd just slow me down," said Rita. "And maybe that's even true. But mainly I never, ever wanted to feel this way again."

She swallowed; every word hurt, but there was something strangely useful in saying it all out loud. It could hardly make it worse, after all. And it wouldn't really stop hurting, either, not completely. All that ever happened was... you learned to let it be. 

"It isn't fair at all," she said. "She didn't do anything wrong. None of those things should've happened to her. But just because some _idiots_ decided she was the key to their _stupid_ plans..."

She glared up at the moon, eyes prickling with tears. "There wasn't any _reason_ ," she said. "I know life isn't fair, but this... it's just too much. And Estelle..."

"None of it should've happened," said Judith, with more feeling than Rita could remember hearing from her in a long time.

"It's driving me crazy," said Rita. "I didn't even want to be friends with her, but she wouldn't let it go, and I just couldn't help it... and now... I don't even know what I'm saying, I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks, I don't think I'm making any sense and _that does not happen to me_."

"...I know," said Judith. "But it's the price you pay for caring about people, sometimes. And in the balance... it's worth it."

"Even if it weren't... it's not like there's anything I can do about it now." Rita laughed, maybe a little hysterically. "I'm stuck with all of you by now..."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"I don't even know." Rita leaned her head on folded hands. "I can't tell."

"All of those good times... the privilege of having known her... that's not worth it?"

"...I don't know," said Rita. "I haven't really been able to think about it."

"That's okay," said Judith. "It hasn't been a long time at all. And it's fine to be sad. Even fitting."

_Fitting..._ Yeah, there might be something to that. When something so horrible happened... it wouldn't be human just to let it slide. You'd have to be crazy, unfeeling... maybe like that Zagi guy, who never seemed to be unhappy, even when he was getting the living crap kicked out of him. She wondered how he'd become like that, if it was something he'd been born with, or something he'd become because he had to-- because if he didn't enjoy his life, he'd be destroyed by it. She didn't know, and it'd probably be useless to ask him now. 

"The thing is..." said Judith. "No matter what happens, you can't ever be afraid to be happy. It's the only weapon we have against death."

Rita blinked at her. "What?"

"Everything dies," said Judith. "So the only thing in the world that matters is enjoying the time we have in between-- and making sure that others do as well."

Rita stared at her for a moment, then looked away, turning the idea over in her sleep-fogged brain. That... might make sense, she thought. And furthermore... she was pretty sure Estelle would have loved it.

"Look, let's not talk any more philosophy tonight," said Rita. "It's a pain in the ass even when I'm awake."

Judith chuckled. "True," she said. "Is there anything you'd like to discuss instead, or will you go back and try to get some sleep?"

"Nnnh... not sure it's gonna work... but I'm gonna need some more sleep if I'm going to track down Yuri." Rita groaned. "Repede's not helping, and I'd have to go back to Aspio to figure out how to use magic, and Yuri's so damn crazy I couldn't figure out where he'd go myself... He's had enough time that he could be anywhere by now... And I don't think any trackers would work, because normal things just never seem to work around--"

Rita stopped, as a short-circuit in her sleep-deprived brain made a thoroughly ridiculous connection. "No," she said. "Oh, no way."

"Hmm?"

"It's impossible! This is the most idiotic-- but then again--" She pushed her hair out of her eyes, chagrined. "Maybe it's about time I made the experiment... see if it really does work like that. There's no way it will. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Though then again-- there could be reasons. It's possible. Yeah, maybe it's about time to find out."

Judith cocked her head. "Are you planning to explain just what you're talking about?"

"Only if it doesn't seem mind-bogglingly stupid in the morning." Rita shook her head. "Either way, I clearly need to get some sleep. Good night."

Without another word, Rita turned and marched straight back to the inn. She knew for sure, now, that she had to do something about this lack of sleep, because the more she thought about it, the more this idea was starting to make a twisted kind of sense.

(~)


	9. That Kind of Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have no _problem_ with it, I simply estimate your success to be _incredibly_ unlikely," said Duke. Yuri admired his ability to use complex syntax while utterly dumbfounded.

(~)

Yuri knew he was going to need to figure out Duke pretty well, no matter what the hell it was that was going on (and honestly, he didn't have a clue either, but he didn't think he was going to have an easy time convincing anyone else of that). He didn't think the man could walk away from this... so he'd wind up either fighting with him, or against him.

But that was okay, because Yuri thought he was beginning to get the hang of this. It was easy, if he didn't overthink it. Duke had been _thinking_ , all the way back from Zoephir, and there was a question percolating within him, Yuri could tell. The only question was when it was finally going to come out.

As it turned out, it happened on the bridge to Capua Nor. 

"May I ask what on earth possessed you to do that?" asked Duke, voice even as always. 

"Undine?"

"...Yes."

"...Even without Alexei's interference," said Yuri, "Zaude isn't going to last forever. Especially not with the aer acting up the way it is. We need another answer. And even if I was willing for a _second_ to be lazy and go the stupid 'guilt-trip the Children of the Full Moon into fixing it' route, we don't have enough anymore." His voice had gone arch and bitter; he grimaced and tried to move on. "So... we need another plan."

"And this plan would be?"

"Fight," said Yuri, simply. "End this mess instead of leaving it to someone else. Destroy the Adephagos."

Duke stared at him. For a moment, Yuri thought for sure he was going to ask whether Yuri had gone insane. "...And how do you intend to accomplish that?" he said instead.

"Well, it'll take pretty much all the aer the world's got," Yuri explained casually. "Which means we've got to know people who can _summon_ all the aer the world's got."

"An example being... Undine," said Duke.

Yuri nodded. "But that's not all. The blastia too. They'll have to go."

Duke stared at him. "...Destroy the blastia?"

"You've been getting the Hermes blastia Judy's left behind, haven't you?" Yuri pointed out. "Shouldn't think you'd have a problem with it."

"I have no _problem_ with it, I simply estimate your success to be _incredibly_ unlikely," said Duke. Yuri admired his ability to use complex syntax while utterly dumbfounded.

"Yep, it'll be a bitch," Yuri agreed. "That's why I figure we leave that part of the plan 'till Zaude fails and the Adephagos comes. No way we're gonna convince anyone to do that until the danger's obvious and coming. After that, hopefully they'll be scared enough to give it a try."

"So until then, your plan is to wander around, creating avatars of powerful natural forces to defend the planet," said Duke.

"Pretty much, yeah. Might clean out a couple warehouses, too."

"...May I ask how on earth you _came_ upon this idea?"

Yuri shrugged. "I'm not sure I did. Anyway... if you have a problem with this plan, you can tell me."

"...It does not seem wise... to so meddle in the ways of the world," Duke said, slowly. "But still... Belius did seem to approve, and her words are ones I must think over. And I doubt I have any superior plans that you are likely to accept."

"Everything changes," said Yuri. "Sometimes it's for the better."

" _Yuri Lowell!!_ "

Yuri groaned, putting his head in his hand. "And some things never change at all," he muttered. " _Damn it, Zagi!_ "

He turned to face his opponent. There, of course, was Zagi, looking the worse for wear and crazier than ever. Yuri didn't know why he was always _smiling_ like that.

Duke, at this point, looked considerably nonplussed. "And this would be...?"

"Oh, you haven't been formally introduced. Duke, this is my insane assassin stalker, Zagi. Zagi, this is my stoic veteran friend Duke. I'd suggest you shake hands, but I don't know what the hell that thing on his arm is. Didn't you give that up after the last time your arm exploded?" 

"Ha!' cried Zagi. "This is a new and _better_ gun, Yuri! I can promise you, this won't end the same way as it did before!"

Duke turned. "An insane assassin stalks you," he said.

"Yep," Yuri answered.

"...How did that _happen_?"

"Damned if I know," Yuri answered, flipping the scabbard from his sword. "You can leave if you want." 

"...No," said Duke, taking up Dein Nomos, "I suspect the time for that has long passed."

Yuri wanted to wonder what exactly that meant, but Zagi was lunging at him with a thirst for blood in his eyes that Yuri had no intention of quenching. No matter how good Duke was-- and he was very, very, amazingly good-- this wasn’t going to be an easy one with only two people.

“Don’t you pretend to forget,” Zagi accused cheerfully, attacking, for inscrutable reasons, with his _fists_. “You don’t remember how we became friends?”

“I remember you mistaking me for one of my _real_ friends and trying to kill me…” said Yuri. “That what you’re talking about?”

“Aw, what a heartless bastard you are. But don’t you worry-- I know what you really mean.”

“Right…” Yuri rolled his eyes, blocking again and carefully staying out of the range of Duke’s attack. Whatever this one was, it was impressive. He’d have to ask him what it was called sometime. 

“It’s in the blood, Yuri,” said Zagi, with a mindless grin, staggering back for just a moment before lunging at Yuri again. “We’re the same, you and I. Fool all the others, but blood calls to blood.”

“Tell me, then,” said Yuri, ducking away once more and launching a counterattack that scored the madman’s shoulder. “What are you? I've gotta admit I’ve been curious.”

Zagi just kept grinning, with a shake of his head-- amused at Yuri’s foolishness, no doubt. Yuri often wondered if these conversations would make more sense if one or both of them were drunk. “We’re _hunters_ , Yuri,” he said. “We live for battle, we live for the chase. There are so few of us left. So few worthy opponents. There’s nothing better than a battle against a truly worthy opponent. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Yuri pressed his lips together and whirled into a Dragon Fang attack. 

That one hit, but Zagi didn’t care, Zagi never cared. He just laughed. “See, you’re not even bothering to lie. You love this as much as I do. So let’s not waste time on philosophy. Let me taste your blood!”

“No, thanks,” said Yuri. “ _Shining Eagle!_ ”

“ _Tidal Wave!_ ”

Yuri jumped back at that, truly afraid for the first time since the fight began-- that, and that water was _cold_. Warily, he turned his head toward the source of the voice.

It was Rita, all right. And the others were right behind her. And she looked _seriously_ pissed. 

“I don’t believe it,” she said, sounding just as annoyed as she looked, but slightly chagrined on top of it. “I don’t know if I should be smug because that worked, or terrified, because that _worked_.”

The blast caught Yuri off guard-- fortunately, Zagi had terrible aim, and combat reflexes weren’t the sort of thing that only operated when you were paying attention, but his right arm was going to be useless now, and Zagi always got crazier around this much blood. “Is there any way you could work it out a little later?!”

“ _Luna Ascendant!_ ” Judy cried, leaping over Rita’s head into the fray.

“ _Azure!_ ” That technique he knew well enough to do one-handed. Maybe even in his sleep. There’d been days. 

Still, Yuri smiled; with everyone else here, this fight was going to be a lot shorter.

“Cheating, Yuri?” said Zagi, barely parrying a blow from Judy, and Yuri’s smile grew wider at the strain in his voice.

“I wouldn’t call it that,” he answered, catching Judy with his good arm as Zagi threw her back. “If you’ve got any friends, you’re free to call ‘em.”

“Friends? Is that what you’re calling them?”

“Just trust me on this.” Yuri paused, looking more closely at Zagi’s new toy. “Please tell me you didn’t get that from the same place as the other one.”

“Why? Do you--”

“Ah, crap,” said Yuri, eyes focused on the darkening wisp of smoke leaking from the gun’s barrel. “Everyone, _duck_!”

“Oh, for the love of-- there’s no need to be so melodra--”

Quickly, Yuri followed his own advice, just before Zagi’s new and better gun exploded. There didn’t seem to be much shrapnel, he noted, so hopefully everyone would be all--

“ _Tidal Wave, dumbass!_ ”

\--yeah, they were probably fine.

“Seriously, please, tell me where you get these stupid things so I can avoid buying anything there ever,” said Yuri.

“Oh, now, don’t be so harsh,” said Judy, mildly. “Maybe he just doesn’t know how to use them properly.”

“Hmm. Point.” 

“Oh, shut up,” growled Zagi. “Yuri Lowell! We will settle this another day.”

“What makes you think we’re going to let you--”

The blinding flash of light answered Yuri’s question. Though he threw up his arm to shield his eyes as best he could, the damage was done-- by the time he’d blinked most of the afterimages out of his eyes, the assassin was clearly gone.

“…Maybe he exploded?” said Karol, dubious but still hopeful.

“Nah,” said Yuri. “I don’t have that kind of luck.” 

“You’ve got a point…” said Rita.

As the immediate rush of battle began to drain from Yuri’s system, his arm twinged; with his left, he rummaged around for a gel. “Starting to believe in curses?”

“…You see, we weren’t having any luck finding you, you _jerk_ ,” said Rita. “It was driving us all crazy. Then, I had this really stupid idea. Maybe we shouldn’t try to find you at all.”

Yuri raised an eyebrow. 

“Maybe,” she continued, “what we should do was try to find _Zagi_.”

Yuri blinked. “…Why?”

“Because Zagi, being Zagi, would look for you,” she answered. “And he could hardly have much worse luck than we were having. And, if you really were cursed…”

Then Zagi's odds would be better. Yuri saw her logic, and didn’t like it at all. “…Uh, how long have you been following him?”

“Two days,” said Karol.

“After looking for…”

“Six weeks,” Judy provided.

“So, that curse thing…” said Rita. “Even though there’s got to be a logical explanation for it, yeah. I am starting to believe.”

Yeah… that was pretty scary. Yuri swallowed, terribly unnerved, and doing his best to hide it. “So… I guess I should probably say--”

“ _Somebody!_ ” 

Yuri nearly jumped; a man was running into the streets, headed for the center of town, but with his wounds, Yuri wasn't at all sure he was going to make it. He grabbed the man's arm. "Whoa, slow down! What's wrong?"

"Monsters!" the man gasped out. "A swarm-- nothing we've ever seen before-- Dahngrest--"

"Dahngrest?" Karol yelped.

"The guilds-- they need help--" The man pushed himself away from Yuri, with surprising strength, headed back for the town square. " _Somebody! Monsters! Dahngrest needs help!_ "

"We've got to go!" cried Karol, and barreled down the street at a run. Repede followed, and Judy, but Rita hesitated for a moment, glaring at Yuri.

"You have the weirdest goddamn luck," she growled-- and started to run. "Don't you think you're getting away with this for long!" she yelled over her shoulder. "Once we take care of these monsters, your ass is _mine_ , do you hear me?!"

Yuri did, and it was enough to make him consider staying behind.

Duke raised a silent eyebrow, and Yuri said, "Yeah. Let's go."

He broke into a run, and thought that even now, it was still a little bit surprising to hear Duke fall into step behind him.

(~)


	10. Nothing We Can't Handle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following him, like he really was a leader, and that was frankly a terrifying thought... but at the same time... He'd always wanted to be someone who could lead people, someone like the Don or Yuri, and maybe he was finally getting a little closer to that dream. Maybe he'd be worth following, someday.
> 
> But he kind of hoped that day was a long way off, because compared to Yuri, he had no idea what he was doing.

(~)

_It's fine_ , Karol had told himself. _It's Dahngrest, all the guilds are there, they can take care of themselves. They'll be fine!_

Maybe that was still true, but it was hard not to worry when you saw the cloud of smoke before you saw the city. 

_The barriers... do they keep fire out?_ He'd never asked before, never needed to know. Dahngrest was far enough from the woods that forest fires were never a problem, and the barriers were far enough from the buildings that any fires in the city were always put out before they could get anywhere near them.

But it looked like they were about to find out. 

"What... what _are_ those things?" Karol gasped, as they finally got to the top of the last hill. Black smoke was darkening the air, but those shapes... they didn't look like any monsters he'd seen before, especially in this area.

"Look at the woods..." said Rita. Karol turned-- the trees were still ablaze, around a wide, clear trail of ash and charcoal. "They came from the forest. It's got to be the aer krene..."

"But I thought those were supposed to--" Karol started, then bit his tongue.

"Calm down?" Rita snorted. "Yeah, apparently killing one little girl isn't gonna solve all the world's problems after all! What a _shock_ , huh?! Ooh, when I see that overgrown vulture again, I'm gonna have some fun seeing just what he thinks of that. Of course, it'll probably be hard getting through to him, since his brain is apparently safely nestled right in his--"

"Rita, please," said Judy. 

"You think I'm letting that go? I am _not_ letting that go. If he hadn't started with that 'insipid poison' _bullsh_ \--"

"Look, could we talk about this _after_ we stop the fire?" Yuri interceded, yelling to be heard over Rita's swearing and the roar of the flames. 

"Yuri's right!" Karol yelled, as the slowly shifting smoke revealed more of the battle. "The city's in trouble! We've got to help!"

"The Knights, too..." said Judy, and Karol noticed the glint of their distinctive armor with a start. 

"They're letting the Knights help?! We've got to get down there!" Karol started down the hill, ignoring the sighs and yelps he could hear behind him.

"Well, he's got a point," he barely heard Yuri say-- and then they were following him, even though he could hear Rita complaining. Following him, like he really was a leader, and that was frankly a terrifying thought... but at the same time... He'd always wanted to be someone who could lead people, someone like the Don or Yuri, and maybe he was finally getting a little closer to that dream. Maybe he'd be worth following, someday.

But he kind of hoped that day was a long way off, because compared to Yuri, he had no idea what he was doing. 

The noise of the battle was overwhelming-- even most of the screams were inaudible over the roar of flame. There wasn't any moon, and all the thick, dark smoke might've blocked it anyway, so the only light was the flickering chaos of the monsters themselves. 

"Stand your ground!" he could hear Flynn yelling. "The evacuation--"

"Tidal Wave!" Rita yelled, the second she got into range, and Judy literally _leaped_ into battle, spear slicing two limbs from some tall, six-armed thing before she even hit the ground.

"The biggest threat is the fire!" Rita yelled. "It could burn down the town, and the fighters can't get near these damn things without toasting themselves!"

"...Cover me!" said Yuri, and Karol only hoped he could, because whatever was coming toward him had an awful lot of legs and was moving very much like a really, really big spider that was also _on fire_ , and he wasn't sure he could take more than one of them at once.

But there was Duke, now, darting through the monsters like a pale shadow, unleashing a devastating attack that was probably almost as good as one of Yuri's. Yeah, nothing was gonna get past him; Karol swallowed, and set toward the spider in front of him with a will. 

It was the worst monster battle he'd ever been in, he thought, scrambling to dodge the creature's legs. He'd fought tougher monsters, to be sure, but that had usually been during the day, and there hadn't been so many of them, and they hadn't been setting people on _fire_ before they could even touch the stupid things. It was so dark, and so many people were screaming, and all he could think of were all the places in the city he knew, all the little rooms and cubbyholes he'd called home--

"Spirit of Water," he heard Yuri say behind him, but couldn't pay too much attention as the spider finally died and a bigger one took its place. But Yuri didn't usually cast spells, and this wasn't one he'd ever heard before--

Karol yelped as one of the monster's legs caught him across the chest, burning through his clothing and sending him tumbling back. This one was going to be hard, and he wasn't in between it and Yuri anymore, and the wind was carrying the smoke right toward him--

\--and Yuri was glowing faintly, a foot above the ground and getting higher, sword raised above his head to point at the sky. And it was no wonder the smoke was coming toward him, all the wind seemed to be blowing toward Yuri, as the air grew thick with something Karol couldn't put a name to, even though he knew it very well. 

"For the sake of this world and its life, I beseech you, cleanse this imbalance," said Yuri. "Undine!"

Lightning crashed down, shaking Karol as hard at the thunder that came instantly after, striking him back down to the ground and filling his eyes with bright, unnatural colors. He blinked furiously, trying to clear them, and levered himself up, because if that lightning had been that close to him then where was--

"It's raining!" Rita yelled, a split second before Karol realized it for himself. His vision still wasn't right, but he didn't need it-- this was a downpour, and he was drenched already-- which meant the monsters--

"The rain's weakening them!" he heard Flynn yell. "Charge!"

Karol heard a roar of furious voices, screaming without words, and figured that the tide of the battle was probably going to turn now. He let out a long, shaky breath, realizing it was practically a normal battle now, Dahngrest was safe--

\--and then he remembered the lightning that had struck way too close to home, and he scrambled over to where Yuri had been.

A much more distant flash of lightning told him Yuri was still there, and not glowing anymore, which was really good 'cause that had been kind of creepy. Scrambling to his side, it didn't take long to figure out that Yuri was both alive and breathing, which, knowing him, meant he was going to be just fine. 

But, he realized after a moment, he was still unconscious, and really a hell of a lot taller than Karol was. 

"Guys?" he called, because as much as he wanted to get back into the battle, he couldn't leave Yuri defenseless. Another of those spider-things popped up; without the fire to defend it, Karol was able to whack it away with only a couple of blows. "Hey, somebody?!"

And then Duke was there, appearing as suddenly as the damn monster had. "What happened?" he asked, perfectly calm, even in the middle of this hellhole. There was something really odd about that guy, but at the moment, Karol was too grateful to care.

"Yuri did something really weird, and now he's unconscious," Karol answered. "I can't wake him up, and there's no way I can carry him."

"...I sense a disturbing pattern emerging," Duke murmured, and said more loudly, "That lightning earlier?"

"Yeah, I think maybe it hit him. Or else it came really close, because if it'd hit him I think he'd be on fire. Except it's raining..."

Duke knelt by Yuri, making a brief medical inspection of his own. "Did you see what he did?"

"Uh... I'm not sure." He hadn't seen it for long, and what he thought he'd seen... None of it made any sense at all. "I think he said something about a water spirit?"

"..." Duke picked Yuri up with a sigh, settling his weight across his shoulders. 

"But there isn't even any such thing," said Karol, growing less sure with every word. Still, he continued, "And even if there were, you couldn't just call it..."

"That would appear to have changed," said Duke, and he didn't sound especially happy about it, either. "Follow me. We should get him somewhere safe."

"Yeah," said Karol, "he's really gonna need his rest, too..."

Duke threw a questioning glance Karol's way. 

"Rita saw that," he explained. "Rita. She's gonna have so many questions... and once Flynn finds out Yuri's not dead... well... I don't know what he's gonna do. He's been acting kinda funny ever since Estelle... well..."

"Yes, I would imagine so," said Duke.

"He's still got Raven in prison," said Karol. "I don't even know..." He squinted up at the black sky, the rain lighter now but stubbornly persisting. "Yuri did this?"

"...I believe you were correct," said Duke. "The next few hours should be...quite interesting."

Karol figured that was probably true. Still... the fire was gone, and the battlefield was growing quieter. Dahngrest was safe, and so was Yuri. Somehow, everything else just didn't seem important next to that. All the rest they could deal with as it came. Because... Dahngrest was his home, and Yuri was part of his family, and they were both going to be okay. And as long as that was true, nothing else could go too badly wrong.

"Nothing we can't handle," said Karol, happily.

(~)


	11. Never Even Think to Ask the Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dahngrest didn't really look anything like the Lower Quarter, but Flynn had always found something about it vaguely familiar regardless.

(~)

Flynn would swear he was drenched to the very bone, and now that the frenzy of the battle was over, it was freezing. Still, under the circumstances, he didn't really feel he could complain. 

"The last patrols are coming back," Sodia reported, quietly. Exhausted as he was, most likely. "All of the monsters are gone. Most dead, though we think a few ran away. Shall I send someone after them?"

"...No," said Flynn. "Not for so few. So few will keep for another day. The real danger was the fire... and their strength in numbers. They're not dangerous enough to be worth the risk of sending out exhausted troops..."

"Yes, sir," said Sodia. "There is a room reserved for you at the inn. You should use it."

"The reports--"

"Will also wait until tomorrow, when the captains are in better shape to be accurate with the details," Sodia pointed out. "You should rest, sir."

"...Perhaps I shall," he said, giving in with a rueful smile. "Thank you, Sodia."

"Sir," she said, bowing, with a faint smile of her own. 

Then she walked away, and he found himself staring around at the city they'd saved. Even after such a battle, even this late at night, there was a faint sound of chatter... Something about that made him relax, just a little, before he could even realize why. The streets might be a little emptier than usual, but they weren't abandoned. Not like that other day...

No, and if he had anything to say about it, nothing like that would ever happen again. Not to any city, in the Empire or not. 

Of course, he might not be allowed any say.

Dahngrest didn't really look anything like the Lower Quarter, but Flynn had always found something about it vaguely familiar regardless. He never had been able to put his finger on what. Maybe it was the people, few of whom were rich. Maybe it was the faint sense of paranoia, the sense that they were on the bottom rung of the ladder as far as the rest of the world was concerned, but damned if they weren't going to make the best of it. Maybe it was something in the walls or in the cobblestones... or maybe all cities were a little alike. They were all made by people, after all.

He finally got within sight of the inn, but it was several moments before the figure curled up by the lamp-post got his attention. He must have been tired; he didn't even notice him until he raised his head, and even then, it took a second or two before his mind caught up with his sight.

"Repede!" he cried, and the dog cocked his head at him, with a look of recognition that Flynn couldn't help but see as amused. _Took you long enough,_ he seemed to say. 

"Hey, there," he murmured, kneeling down, because Repede had that look in his eyes that said he might be willing to condescend to be scratched just a little behind the ears. "It's been a while."

Repede being here meant Yuri’s friends were here... Unsurprising, really, now he came to think if it. They always seemed to meet in places like this. And hadn't one of them come from Dahngrest? The boy, perhaps? 

Repede thumped his tail once against the ground, and stood, walking leisurely to the door. He looked once behind him-- _coming?_ \-- and Flynn laughed, following him inside.

"Hey," said Rita, greeting him with a nod. The whole gang seemed to be here, sitting in various states of exhaustion around the main lobby. Except that Krityan Judith, Flynn realized, as he scanned the room.

"Fancy meeting you here," Flynn replied, with a smile. "Though trouble does seem to attract you."

Rita scoffed. "You're one to talk," she said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, uh, there's probably a couple things we need to talk about."

Flynn instantly went on alert; from a group like this, that couldn't be good. "Such as?"

"Uh... Well. Long stories here." Rita sighed, running a hand through her hair. "First thing. We found Yuri."

Flynn's breath hitched. "Is he..."

"Huh? Oh, that. No, he's fine. He's... well... Yuri, but he's fine."

Flynn let out a long breath, sinking onto the nearest bench (which was, fortunately, very near by). "How did you find him?"

Rita winced. "You don't want to know."

"What? What on earth does that mean?" All sorts of vague, terrifying possibilities flashed through Flynn's mind.

"Well... okay, what we did was follow Zagi. And that worked." Rita frowned. 

"Follow... who?"

"That crazy guy? The creepy assassin? From Nordopolica?"

Flynn blinked. "I thought he was dead."

"Yeah, well, I'm betting he's STILL not dead. He's kind of a freak that way. But anyway, he was on Yuri like a bloodhound." Rita threw a glare at Repede. "Actually, _better_ than a bloodhound."

Repede turned his head, ignoring her.

"So yeah, Yuri's alive, that's the good news."

Flynn frowned. "From which I assume there's bad news?"

"Well... we can't say for sure it's bad yet. Just... let's just say... they teach interrogation techniques in Knight school, right?"

Flynn blinked.

"Because there's gonna be one hell of an interrogation," said Rita, cracking her knuckles.

"Yuri," Flynn said, nodding. "Hmm. That will be difficult."

"Any tips?"

Flynn sighed, with an exasperated shrug. "The thing about trying to get information out of Yuri is that normal interrogation techniques don't work on him. Not because he's impervious to them, though he's good enough at evading... but because the real secrets he's keeping are so outlandish that you never even think to ask the questions."

"Hmm." A man with long, white hair sat down nearby, and Flynn tried to remember where he'd seen him before. "That sounds... quite accurate."

"Duke, seems like you've been hanging around him a while," said Rita. "You got any ideas?"

_THE Duke?_ Flynn blinked, staring at the man. There was a strange calm about him... an almost otherworldly air he seemed to carry. He seemed young for it, despite the white hair, but... maybe the Duke. 

Wouldn't it figure that Yuri would be able to find even him.

"I would start with the Water Elemental," he said, taking up a cup of tea. Or Flynn assumed it was tea; something hot, anyway, maybe cocoa. But he couldn't see Duke drinking hot cocoa. The thought was making his head spin a bit. Or possibly that was more attributable to the fact that it had been an exceedingly long day.

"Yeah," said Rita. "How the hell did he summon that?"

"Yuri summoned a Water Elemental?" Flynn stared. That would explain the sudden and fortuitous rain-- if water elementals existed, and if Yuri had the first idea how to summon them, neither of which ought to be true.

"I would be more interested in how he created it," Duke suggested quietly, taking a sip.

"Wait-- created it? Yuri _created_ an Elemental Spirit?!" Rita gaped. "You're KIDDING me! Are you sure?"

Duke balanced his cup of tea on a saucer, considering. "It is not my place to say much more," he said. "But yes. I am very sure. I was there."

"I will KILL him!!"

"...This should all probably wait until the morning," said Flynn. "You know. When we're all feeling more-- awake, and reasonable."

Rita actually _growled_ , and Flynn edged away, trying to be inconspicuous. "Besides," he said, "it's obviously going to be one hell of a story, right? So we should, uh, be very awake so we can pounce on him when he gets things wrong. Right?"

"Oh, yes," Rita said, still growling, just a lot more happily, which Flynn supposed was an improvement. "Yes, we should, you're right. Good plan."

"...Where is Yuri, anyway?" Flynn asked, carefully. Surely, by the way Rita was asking, if he were anywhere nearby, she'd be interrogating him already. Possibly with the aid of ropes and small, pointy objects. Flynn shivered and reminded himself that he really needed to get some rest.

"Ah, asleep." Rita waved a hand irritably. "Been out since the rain began. Figures he'd weasel out of the questions like that."

"...Huh." Or it could be that summoning an _elemental spirit of water_ took something out of a person. Maybe a lot. Maybe a dangerous amount. Because he was starting to understand a little better, now. Yuri wouldn't have cared about the price.

_And neither would you,_ he thought. Well. Birds of a feather, they said.

_Flynn and his little shadow..._

"Well," he said. "Good night, then."

"Hmm? Yeah, g'night."

Flynn stood, and threaded his way through the fairly crowded lobby to the rooms in the back. There he paused; the door to one on the right was open, though the room inside was fairly dark. On a hunch, Flynn poked his head through the doorframe. 

Dim as it was, by long familiarity he knew for sure it was Yuri, though he wouldn’t have been able to explain quite how. A hundred subtle clues, things he didn’t even know he knew. Things that came from growing up with a person; things that came from fighting by their side.

“…Idiot,” Flynn sighed. Though he wasn’t really one to talk. “I’m not letting you get away with it from here on in, do you hear? Not ever again. I know what you’re doing, and it will stop.”

Though why he was making such possibly empty threats to someone who wasn’t even awake could only be explained by the fact that he wasn’t, either. 

_In a cell in this city, you waited in the darkness and knew he would come. Stupid as it was for him, he would come and he wouldn’t even make you ask-- wouldn’t even let you ask. And you knew that, and you were going to use it, going to let him ransom his life on your honor, because it was the only way to stop a war. You knew just how deep your devotions ran, then, and the knowledge was so bitter you thought you could actually taste it on your lips._

Flynn licked his lips, absently. They were still bitter.

“I will not fail again,” he said quietly, and closed the door.

(~)


	12. Closer to the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rita’s been poking her head in every ten minutes, and the Commandant has been heard muttering about an official inquiry,” she answered, still smiling kindly. “You have three minutes. I suggest you wake up quickly.”

(~)

Judy made a point of being there when he woke up. She wanted to smile at him. She had a feeling he’d need that fortification. 

“…Aw, man, I’m screwed, aren’t I?” he said, after a moment.

“Rita’s been poking her head in every ten minutes, and the Commandant has been heard muttering about an official inquiry,” she answered, still smiling kindly. “You have three minutes. I suggest you wake up quickly.” 

Repede whined supportively from the foot of the bed.

“Thanks,” said Yuri, though it could have been to either of them, or both. He pulled himself upright with a groan, cradling his head in his hands.

Picking up the breakfast tray from the end-table, Judy poked him in the head with it.

“Oh. Thanks.” Yuri took it, and began eating as quickly as was safe.

“Don’t mention it,” she said. “…Literally.”

“…I’m _really_ screwed, aren’t I?”

“Thoroughly,” she agreed. “Two minutes.” 

Yuri ate faster. 

Judith smiled to herself, wondering why she found Yuri so simple to understand. Despite being from different places, and different species, they seemed somehow to think in a similar way. All those midnight walks… all those times he’d been awake to greet her at the end of them. And the way they’d always known what they were each really doing up that late, but never, ever broke the somehow agreed-upon rules by saying a word…

“You know what to expect from Rita,” she said, skirting the edges of those rules closely. “As much as anyone can, that is. But I’d be careful with the Commandant.”

Yuri’s eyes darted up to her at that. Only natural; Flynn was _his_ friend, after all, he had seniority, and none of them had known him long enough to offer presumptuous remarks on his state of mind. “Careful?” he said.

She nodded. “Just keep it in mind,” she said. “It’s not just you he’s angry at.”

She sat there, placid, at Yuri looked down, a frown crossing his face. She wondered if he was seeing what she was seeing-- ruins in the desert, words loud and bitter enough to cut through the tangible oven-heat. He had enough information to make this leap: Flynn was furious with himself as well.

And how that would manifest… that was anyone’s guess. Flynn had gotten rather more inscrutable, lately.

Which reminded her: “And _don’t mention Raven_ ,” she said, urgently. “Not yet. Not until you have a plan.”

That, too, got his attention. “I never did get the chance to ask--”

“He’s not in Dahngrest,” Judith answered. “But don’t say a word. Something needs to be done, but I don’t think it can happen today. Not with everything else that’s going on. _Don’t mention Raven._ ”

He still looked confused, but after a moment, he just nodded, and there was something wonderfully gratifying about that. Trust. That was the reason. He was going to trust her on this one, and besides averting one potential disaster today, that meant… quite a lot. 

“Oh, _Yuuuuriiiiiii_ …”

Judith hid the breakfast tray with calm precision, just as Rita poked her head in the door, with a nasty grin. “Well, look who’s awake!”

“What do you know.” Flynn appeared on the other side of the door, with a smile to match. “Dropped by for a little visit, have we?”

“How wonderfully considerate of you,” Judith added, smirking faintly. Yuri of all people would understand her sudden betrayal: she didn’t particularly want to die.

“I mean, I was hoping we’d get a letter or something, but this is way better,” Karol added. 

“All right, all right! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner!” Yuri yelled, his hands coming up defensively.

“Tell us what? That you weren’t dead?” Flynn offered, icily.

“Yes, that.” Yuri beamed innocently. “Very sorry. It was a horrible thing to do and I should never have left any of you hanging like that.”

“Riiiiiight.” Rita folded her arms, the picture of scientific skepticism. “And do you have any excuse for this behavior?”

Judy could see a dozen possible responses flicker behind Yuri’s eyes. “Nope!” he picked, still going the cheerful route. It had its dangers, but Judy thought it could work. “None at all. I mean, really, what excuse would be good enough for such a terrible misdeed?”

“I’m going to _slap_ you,” said Flynn, but anyone could see he was fighting to keep a smile off of his face.

“By all means,” said Yuri. “I don't know how else to atone for the horrible lack of consideration to which I--” 

The pillow hit him square in the head. He had the good sense (or the bad reflexes, but Judy found that terribly unlikely) not to duck.

“You know,” said Flynn, “if I were any less happy that you were alive, I really would be killing you myself for this.”

“Will temporary insanity work?” said Yuri, tossing the pillow in his hands.

“…Yeah,” said Rita, “I suppose. Except that ‘temporary’ part, that you might get an argument on.”

Yuri lobbed the pillow at her. She caught it, tossing it aside. “So where the hell were you?”

“I gave Duke back his sword,” Yuri said, jerking his head toward the doorway. Sure enough, Duke was out there, hanging back, though everyone else had drifted into the room by now. “Seemed only polite.” 

“The Duke,” Flynn said, shaking his head. He stepped into the doorframe. “Hello,” he said. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

He extended a hand, which Duke took. “…Why?” he said. 

“Er-- You’re quite the hero--” Flynn started.

“Uh, probably we should just save that for later,” said Yuri.

Judith nodded to herself; she knew more than enough about Duke to know he would not want to be called a hero of the War. 

“So how long did that take?” said Karol, cementing the shift in conversation-- back toward Yuri; Judy wondered if Duke or Flynn would appreciate the small sacrifice. 

“…Not long,” Yuri admitted. Probably he didn’t have much choice; Judy couldn’t see Duke as much of a co-conspirator. “But then I decided to stay around for a while. And there was something I needed to do.” 

“Yes,” said Duke, drawn in from the hallway at last. “ _That_ we need to address.”

“So we hear something about you and an elemental spirit of water,” said Rita.

“Undine.” Yuri nodded, not looking particularly enthusiastic. “Yeah.”

“More specifically, we hear something about you _creating_ an elemental spirit of water.”

“I guess you could put it that way, yeah.”

“Did it exist before?” Rita snapped.

“No--”

“Would it have existed if it weren’t for you?”

“Well--”

“Then how the hell else are we supposed to put it?!” Rita threw her hands in the air. “How did you _do_ that?! Even I barely know how one would _conceive_ of going about that kind of thing, and I’m the genius here!”

“Uh,” said Yuri. “You know that apatheia, the one from Belius?”

“A focus… of course, of course,” said Rita, waving her hand irritably. “But you’d need to channel the aer into--”

“I borrowed Dein Nomos again,” said Yuri. 

“That… could do it…” Rita stared thoughtfully into space. “If all of the theories were correct, and since it happened, I suppose we can assume they were… but that still leaves the most important question unanswered.”

Yuri winced. Judy guessed that the obvious follow-up was a question he didn’t much want to answer.

“The most important question is _how the hell did you know how to do it in the first place?!_ ”

Yuri shrugged.

“Oh, come on,” said Flynn.

“I don’t have an answer for you,” Yuri defended. “And trust me, I’ve been trying to come up with one for a long time now.”

“So, what,” said Flynn, starting to look angry again, “you’re saying the knowledge just suddenly popped into your head of its own accord?”

“…That’s a pretty good description, actually.”

“Seriously,” said Flynn, folding his arms, “that’s not much of a lie. I would expect better from you, Yuri.”

“You know,” said Rita, looking dangerously thoughtful, “I wonder if it’s not closer to the truth than he’d like us to believe.”

All eyes in the room turned toward her-- ironically, startled probably more by the lack of anger in her voice than by anything else. “Yeah,” she said, “I think I’m starting to put it all together. It’s probably not as outlandish as you think. After all, it’s always been known that some people have more of an affinity for aer than others.”

She stepped forward, and seamlessly into full lecture mode. “Everyone has some awareness, of course-- aer’s what we’re made of, after all-- but some people have always been particularly sensitive to it. And I always suspected Yuri was one of them.” She turned to Karol, raising an eyebrow. “Remember that time he learned an arte just by watching that Guild guy do it?”

“Oh, yeah!” said Karol. “That was awesome.”

“Well, he was always good with strike artes, but I assumed that was because he was just good with weapons,” said Flynn. “He could never heal at all…”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “Yeah, rub it in, why don’t you.”

“True,” said Rita. “But this is above and beyond. I’ve seen him master artes two minutes after reading a description in a book. It took him all of three seconds to figure out how to use Dein Nomos. Don’t take this the wrong way, but it isn’t _normal_.”

Yuri shrugged. “Not like I never heard that one before.”

“I was wondering about that for a long time,” said Rita. “And from there, it wasn’t much of a leap to start wondering if maybe that hypothetical affinity to aer could manifest in more than combat ability.” She smiled, small and evil. “We did always say he was cursed…”

Yuri groaned. “God, you really have started to believe in that crap, haven’t you?”

“Haven’t you?” she countered. “Even though curses don’t exist, it became obvious that _something_ strange was going on. Things just happen around you. It’s difficult to quantify, exactly, but it’s provable and it’s there. It was just a hypothesis… but now I’m starting to think it’s pretty well tested.”

Rita leaned forward. “It’s something that was always there,” she said. “It probably took you ages to realize it was even unusual. And then you figured maybe your eyes were just a little better than normal, maybe your hearing was just sharper-- it wasn’t a big difference, anyway, and sometimes it didn’t seem like a difference at all.”

Yuri looked terribly unnerved-- Judy wondered if it was because something was hitting too close to home, or because there was something deadly serious in Rita’s eyes. A shiver ran up her spine.

“But it’s been getting worse,” she said, softly now-- probably because she had some experience with discovering she was exceptional. “Even before-- probably ever since you left the city, in fact-- but after Estelle… the imbalance in the aer has been getting worse and worse. And so has this sense of yours, hasn’t it?”

Yuri was silent as a ghost, eyes wide, which was hard to interpret as anything but confirmation. 

“It’s gotten stronger now,” she said. “So strong you can’t ignore it if you try. And that way you always had, of knowing things… it’s gotten a _lot_ stronger, hasn’t it? Strong enough to tell you how to create gods. Strong enough to tell you how to call them down.”

She cocked her head. “Am I right?”

The room was silent. If anyone in the room was even breathing, it was impossible to tell. 

“…Yeah,” said Yuri, very quietly. “That’s pretty much it.”

_Courage,_ Judy thought. To hear such personal things told in public, and then acknowledge that they were true… for someone like him, always keeping secrets, that took an astonishing amount of courage.

“…But what does that mean?” said Flynn, eyes still wide with shock.

“…Good question,” said Rita. “There’s not a whole lot written about things like this, and from the way things are going, I’m not sure how much help they’d be anyway. Guess there’s only one way to find out.”

She shot a sharp glance over her shoulder. “Which is a damn shame for science, because getting proper observations out of him is gonna be like trying to wash a cat.”

Yuri chucked another pillow at her. Rita didn’t bother trying to dodge.

(~)


End file.
